Is it worth it to fight for a husband with a mistress: psychologist's advice

Treason and everything that is associated with it, has always been a relevant and complex topic. Women react to it in different ways: someone proudly leaves the traitor, and someone desperately fights to preserve the relationship. It is important to consider the situation thoughtfully. Is it really worth beating off her husband from his mistress? After all, there are many nuances in this problem. Every woman faces doubts. For example, you are with your husband for many years, began a relationship in student years, you have children, and he is a caring father. But suddenly he cheats. The question arises: how to act? Perhaps, immediately quit and start a new life, but it is far from easy! You regret the efforts invested in the relationship, the children who will be torn between parents, and, most importantly, the love for the husband remained! In this situation, is it worth fighting for a husband from his mistress?

We consulted with psychologist Lisa Lonsky to understand this situation:

It is usually said that the mistress is not scary until she is not recognized. And now, you have found out, you have all the facts, maybe even a confession. Many ideas wash over your head, from bloody revenge to lengthy lawsuits.

It's important to give yourself time to process your emotions before you act. Perhaps after a few days you realize that regardless of everything, you are ready to continue living with your husband, because he remains an important person to you in key areas of your life - he is still attractive, smart, courageous, and appealing, especially if the other woman rated him that way.

So who is this other woman, the lover? Who is she and what does she want from your husband? These are the minimum questions one wants to ask.

However, now we will talk about something else: is it worth seeing this woman, what to say to her and whether it is necessary to say at all? Let's deal with the important details. Extramarital relationships between a man and a woman are often labeled by the terms "stole" and "repulsed".

So, if your man can be "stolen," what is he? A doggie tied up at the store door? Do you really believe that a grown, independent man can be "stolen"? If he can be taken away, does that mean he is not a mature, independent, and loving man?

And now about the "whisked away" part. What exactly is it that you want to repel? Usually it's a battle trophy obtained in a fair or unfair fight, but that's not so important now. If you feel, consciously or not, that your man is a trophy you got for your superior skills against other women, it may mean that you will find it hard to relax and you will always be energized. In case of unexpected circumstances (illness, pregnancy, childcare) you may feel a lot of anxiety and guilt.

What should you do in this situation? Before deciding whether to fight for your husband, it is important to weigh all aspects carefully. It is important to understand whether you want to continue the relationship after what happened, whether you can forgive and move on. It is also important to realize what sacrifices (pride, self-respect, respect of others, etc.) will have to be made for the sake of it.

Equally important is the man's opinion - does he want to come back, and will he be able to build the relationship again after his mistake? Will you be able to trust him again? After all, the return of the husband and the restoration of the relationship - it is a complex and long process that requires not only efforts, but also emotional readiness.

Therefore, before deciding to take action, it is worth answering all these questions and preparing for the fact that there may not be an easy road ahead. It is important to remember that you are looking after yourself and your well-being first and foremost.