The secret language of communication

Each of us has had times when in the course of a conversation we encounter phrases like, "You misunderstood me..." or "That's not what I meant at all...". Often these words are used to prevent quarrels or resolve misunderstandings. So why, when speaking the same language, do we sometimes misunderstand each other? Let's understand the reasons and find ways to solve this problem.

What is Communication?
Communication is not just an exchange of information. During a conversation we send a message to the interlocutor, putting a certain meaning into it and "encoding" it. The recipient decodes this message, and many factors determine whether it will be understood correctly. For example, the phrase "Where have you been?" can be perceived with curiosity, indignation or irony, which affects the subsequent reaction of the interlocutor.

Command Function of Messages
Each message performs a command function, determining the hierarchical positions of the participants in the communication. For example, a husband's phrase "Is dinner ready?" may signal not so much hunger as a desire to be assured of his wife's care and attention. Thus, communication includes not only verbal, but also emotional and social components.

Silence Is Also Communication
Even silence is a form of communication. It can express resentment, rightness, or tension. For example, a family dinner in silence can be filled with hidden emotions that are important to recognize and discuss to avoid misunderstandings and conflict.

Nonverbal Cues
Non-verbal cues such as facial expressions, gestures, posture and intonation also play an important role in communication. They can complement or even replace verbal messages by conveying the true meaning of what is being said. A mismatch between words and nonverbal cues can cause confusion and distrust in the interlocutor.

Stereotypes and Patterns
Template phrases and labels can impede communication and provoke conflicts. Evaluative statements that generalize the interlocutor's behavior often cause psychological defenses. It is better to use language that expresses personal opinions and to clarify what is said, especially when talking about important topics.

Different Communication Needs
People can have different communication needs. Some want to share news and emotions, while others need less conversation. Understanding and respecting these differences will help avoid alienation and coldness in relationships. Men and women may also differ in their approaches to communication, which should be taken into account to achieve mutual understanding.

The Importance of Proper Communication
Words can heal and they can wound. It is important not only what we say, but also how we do it. Attention to the interlocutor, the ability to clearly state thoughts and adequately assess situations - the key to effective communication, which can strengthen relationships and resolve conflicts.