How to Start a Conversation About Gender with Your Child

Conversations about gender differences can be confusing for parents. When a small child asks questions about their body, adults often start to feel uncomfortable. However, it is important to remember that children's interest rarely concerns the intimate side of the issue. Most often, they are simply curious and do not think about the sexual context.

Do not project your own experiences onto children. If a child is interested in why he cannot wear a swimsuit, this is not a reason to worry about his sexual orientation. In such cases, it is best to give a clear and concise answer that does not open up topics for further discussion. For example, explain that mom and dad sleep together because they are a family and do different things together. After this, it is better not to go into details.

It is especially important to remain calm and confident in your answers. Children, like adults, like it when they see confidence in words. If parents begin to get nervous, the child may begin to insist on additional information, which will lead to endless questions. Instead of avoiding the topic or promising to discuss it later, it is better to tell only what the child wants to know at the moment.

When talking about the body, avoid unnecessary details and focus on understandable and healthy aspects. For example, explain the differences between boys and girls using simple examples. Boys may be interested in technology, and girls in toys. Discuss that when a girl grows up, she becomes a mother, and a boy becomes a father.

Developing personal boundaries also plays an important role in a child’s sexual literacy. Teach him that there are situations when personal life should not be discussed openly, for example, you should not discuss other people’s appearance or intimate moments. Explain that personal boundaries must be respected and no one has the right to violate them.

In addition, it is important to give your child appropriate terms for genitals. Using medical and neutral words helps to avoid body shame. Harsh expressions can create a negative perception of body parts, which in the future can affect self-perception.

When a child starts asking questions about how babies are made, it is important to be prepared for this moment. However, do not give complicated and confusing explanations; it is better to focus on accessible and understandable materials for the child. Speak in a language that is understandable to him and use appropriate books or pictures to answer his questions. Finally, monitor what the child receives through television and the Internet. Many sources can be misleading, which can affect the perception of the topic of sex. Parents should filter information and ensure that the child receives only the knowledge that is appropriate for his age.